Day 90: June 29, 2024
What are My Thoughts Today?
Today's lesson on The Path was about our tolerance to alcohol and how it evolves over time. My tolerance changed really dramatically around the age of 38. Before that, I thought I had a high tolerance for my size (although in reality I think I was usually quite a lot drunker than everyone else parties). However, in about 2022, I noticed that drinking wasn't sitting well with me physically anymore, meaning that I wouldn't sleep well at all when I drank, and it was starting to become a little bit life-interfering.
By the age of 39 (so, 2023), drinking was truly destroying my sleep and I was starting to worry about my heart health. It just felt like the fun of drinking was not outweighing the bad anymore. That is when I started exploring drinking cessation programs like The Path. I figured age 40 was a good time to make a change!
I must admit if the consequences for drinking hadn't gotten worse, I'm not sure I would have thought about quitting. But I'm glad for the shift in the end! I really didn't want to be stuck in the cycles of overwhelm, frustration and fatigue, and I didn't like how much mental space alcohol was taking up. My relationship with alcohol (and self-care) felt out of balance, but I wasn't ready to make a drastic change until the negative health consequences became more apparent in my life.
Additional Thoughts:
I went to a naturopathic healer last week to see if there is anything I can do to help my body reabsorb the fibroadenoma in my breast without surgery. She recommended I try Vitamin D supplements (with K and iodine) and a B-Complex. She also recommended a castor oil compress on the skin at night. One of the other holistic practitioners in the same clinic suggested a CBD oil topical salve on the skin in the morning. He also recommended Sea Moss Gel as a natural type of mineral supplement, Chaga tea, and using aquifer-sourced water whenever possible (I got some Buhl Aquifer Drinking Water and I am using it in the morning and at my desk while I am working, though we are still using tap water for coffee and cooking). Then when I got home I did some reading and discovered that some folks have used the supplements Boswellia, inositol and betaine in conjunction with positive results. Plus I am trying to cut back on sugar, eat more fruits and veggies, and add in physical exercise, meditation and tapping whenever possible!
So even if nothing changes with the fibroadenoma, I should be feeling pretty great either way by December! Now, I am not against Western medicine (it has saved my life before and it probably will again) but because I am no longer drinking I wanted to give my body a chance to heal itself, if that is indeed possible. However, most of the information about natural cures for tumors (benign or otherwise) is anecdotal. So even though I was excited to try these alternatives, I wanted the blessing of my doctor first.
To that end, I spoke to the surgeon on Thursday afternoon. Luckily (and surprisingly!) she was on board with my plan... So we are going to wait until December to see if anything changes as a result of my vitamin concoctions / lifestyle changes, and if the fibroadenoma doesn't shrink (or, worse, if it grows) we will do an ultrasound and either biopsy it again or have it removed in early January. So that's the plan. I was happy she was willing to let me experiment, and also glad she didn't feel I was being irresponsible! She said, "This seems like a very well-thought out, reasonable approach." To be honest, not what I was expecting!
AF Days Since May 23, 2024: 37
My Why: To have freedom from addictions, to create more space in my life, to honor my body / mind / spirit, to feel vibrant and empowered in my daily life, and to make my corner of the world a better, more peaceful, more loving & more beautiful place.
What's One Awesome Thing that Happened Yesterday because I Chose Not to Drink?
I spent time with my husband and my parents doing one of those boxed Murder Mystery games and I was able to stay focused in order to solve it! Drinking never helped with maintaining my concentration in the evening 😉
Daily Affirmations:
1) I choose to live Alcohol-Free.
2) I respect and honor myself.
3) I am worthy of love and care.
4) I give myself patience to heal.
5) I maintain healthy boundaries.
6) I have compassion for others.
7) I create beauty all around me.
