Day 87: June 26, 2024
What are My Thoughts Today?
Yesterday got word back about an extension request I placed on a big project. I was hoping to be able to move the deadline out to February 2025, but the latest they could go is December 2024. A few months doesn't sound like a lot, but it means that I'm going to have to work faster and harder than I have been so far (and that's saying something, because for once I'm not procrastinating). I feel a little bit of stress about this less-than-ideal deadline, but I do think it's manageable. A large part of that is because I'm not drinking! I am able to work at night if I need to, and just in general my brain is functioning better. So I know I can do it, and I'm grateful that being alcohol-free is going to help me get there.
Additional Thoughts:
If there is to be peace in the world,
There must be peace in the nations.
If there is to be peace in the nations,
There must be peace in the cities.
If there is to be peace in the cities,
There must be peace between neighbors.
If there is to be peace between neighbors,
There must be peace in the home.
If there is to be peace in the home,
There must be peace in the heart.
Here are a few of my thoughts from today's lesson on The Path:
We are working from the bottom up! I like this framework of self-care... The investment we make in ourselves is the most important gift we can give to the world. This is a shift in thinking from me (I was so indoctrinated with the fear of being selfish that it has showed up in shame as an adult), but I can tell that paying more attention to self-care and my honoring my own boundaries are good moves.
It's not a bad thing to realize there are still things you wanna work on within yourself after you go Alcohol-Free, nor are you are not broken if you find that everything wasn't magically fixed when you stopped drinking. You are simply moving into another dimension of life - your life will never be completely free of problems, but you don't have to stay stuck on the same problems forever. You can move on to different challenges once you work through the ones you face now. After all, you are a constantly evolving being.
Here's my favorite quote from today's lesson on The Path: "The goal in personal development is to find a way to choose higher quality problems." What an empowering way to look at it! Which problems do you want to have? If we make our goal about avoiding problems entirely we will never be satisfied. But if we recognize that the quality of the problems ahead of us are evolving, and that we are living overall more in alignment with the values we hold dear, then we are succeeding even in the midst of new challenges!
I think so far what this process has taught is to really pay attention to cognitive dissonance. When do I want to say no but I say yes? When do I grab the cookie when I have the fleeting thought that it's probably better to leave it alone? When do I choose to stay up late and binge on TV when I know I should just go to bed to feel refreshed tomorrow? When do I choose to do things that I know are not in my best interest?
I think quitting alcohol finally has given me the realization that the cognitive dissonance I was feeling around drinking was not just in my head. I am actually feeling better about my life now that I have quit. It's like ripping off a band-aid. At first it feels insurmountable to make a change, because you are afraid or you don't feel you're quite ready to let things go or do things differently.
But if your spirit is whispering to you about changes you know you need to make, you will actually feel way better when you follow through. I don't know if I have ever done more than intellectually accept this idea before. But now that I am experiencing it in my life, it makes me think about the other areas where I could be addressing cognitive dissonance. I think then peace would be a more common occurrence in my heart and mind.
Again, I like the reminder that we're never going to be void of problems, but we don't have to be facing the same problems every day of our lives. We can move on to bigger and better challenges through the years! Not only does that feel empowering, but I have a feeling that as I face new challenges from this more aligned head-space, I will have a bigger bandwidth to deal with things. I will be better able to cope with challenges that come my way because I will no longer be held in captivity by vices that don't serve me. I will have more room to explore creative solutions.
AF Days Since May 23, 2024: 34
My Why: To have freedom from addictions, to create more space in my life, to honor my body / mind / spirit, to feel vibrant and empowered in my daily life, and to make my corner of the world a better, more peaceful, more loving & more beautiful place.
What's One Awesome Thing that Happened Yesterday Because I Chose Not to Drink?
I had the realization that any lifestyle changes or natural medicine I utilize will be more effective now because my body won't be fighting to rid itself of the poison (alcohol) that I used to pour into it. I am giving my body (and mind, and spirit) the best chance possible for peace and wellness by living Alcohol-Free.
Daily Affirmations:
1) I choose to live Alcohol-Free.
2) I respect and honor myself.
3) I am worthy of love and care.
4) I give myself patience to heal.
5) I maintain healthy boundaries.
6) I have compassion for others.
7) I create beauty all around me.
