Day 67: June 6, 2024

What are My Thoughts Today?

Rather than making the point of this year all about not drinking or about achieving other wellness goals, The Path suggests setting an emotion-based goal that pulls you towards a positive feeling rather than repelling you from an unwanted action. This way you don't feel like you have to always be checking things off a list (or that if you're don't succeed at your quantifiable goal, you're a complete and total failure).

This really makes sense to me! Although I must say, in my life I have struggled with maintaining habits, including not drinking. This is partly because I probably have ADHD, or low dopamine levels, and that makes me compelled to seek out pleasurable activities and not necessarily think about the long-term consequences. I used to feel really bad about this, until I started learning about dopamine. I need to get tested for ADHD sometime, and I even started the process, but I never finished it.

Point being, if there is no accountability, I really struggle to follow through. However, learning about dopamine has already been helpful. I realized that I think I need to mindfully incorporate things that raise my dopamine (naturally) throughout the day, and also minimize things that artificially stimulate it (certain activities lead to unnaturally high levels of dopamine, which then creates a chemical imbalance in the brain). There is a great book about dopamine and our modern culture called Dopamine Nation that explains how our society is basically wiring us for dopamine imbalances.

Practicing my musical instrument in the evenings has been a way to exercise my body and my mind (I really, truly hate physical exercise and I never get that elusive "runner's high" after working out) and also to find enjoyment that isn't overstimulating. Cutting out alcohol is a huge part of re-balancing my dopamine levels, and so is reducing my screen time – especially social media – but really any screen time. I can tell it affects me pretty negatively.

The truth is, the only strategy that has worked for me in the past is setting and tracking very concrete goals – and then lining up consequences for not following through! For the last couple years, I used a website called Beeminder to accomplish this. I know it is an intense method, but so far it has been pretty effective, and it has at least helped me to feel less powerless. Basically it's the 100% opposite of the method described on The Path. 🤣

However this doesn't mean I don't agree with the philosophy of having an emotion-based goal. I do, and I imagine that focusing on one will help to nurture some self-compassion and even generate enthusiasm for the changes I am making. Rather than using so-called punishment as a motivator, I can try adding in some visioning about how I'm hoping to feel in the long-run... Why not balance things out a bit?

So, all that being said, my emotion-based goals are:

To have freedom from addictions, to create more space in my life, to honor my body / mind / spirit, to feel vibrant and empowered in my daily life, and to make my corner of the world a better, more loving, and more beautiful place.

Is that too many objectives? I have to wonder.... That is my tendency, to think too big! I don't want to put too much pressure on myself, but I was thinking about how on any given day, one of these goals will surely pull me forward. I have noticed my motivation and my focus changes slightly from day to day, so I think having several aspects of an emotion-based goal will keep it relevant depending on my mood. And I can always change the goal later on, if I feel like it's not motivating me anymore or nurturing positive sentiments!

AF Days Since May 23, 2024: 14

My Why: To have freedom from addictions, to create more space in my life, to honor my body / mind / spirit, to feel vibrant and empowered in my daily life, and to make my corner of the world a better, more peaceful, more loving & more beautiful place.

What's One Awesome Thing that Happened Yesterday because I Chose Not to Drink?

I hung out with some of my oldest friends on Zoom last night, and (at least on my end) there was no alcohol involved. It was a nice feeling to reconnect with them, without the dulling influence of alcohol!

Daily Affirmations:
1) I choose to live Alcohol-Free.
2) I respect and honor myself.
3) I am worthy of love and care.
4) I give myself patience to heal.
5) I maintain healthy boundaries.
6) I have compassion for others.
7) I create beauty all around me.