Day 56: May 26, 2024
What are My Thoughts Today?
So my husband and I arrived at The Farm late last night, around 8:00pm, and everyone had already finished dinner (they saved us some food, yay). Within literally three minutes of getting in the door, my Dad approached with a glass of his homemade wine and asked me, "Wanna try it?" He was clearly excited about his concoction. And you know what? I replied, "Sure, I will try a sip!" And I had one sip (It was good! Way better than last year's batch, haha). Then he asked, "Want me to get you a glass?" And I said, "No thanks, I am not drinking right now... But that turned out great, Dad!"
And then it was OVER! Done. No more fretting about what I was gonna say. Shortly after that my uncle started making everyone Old Fashioneds, but I was prepared and had an AF Spiritless Old Fashioned Pour-Over at the ready and happily drank that instead. I had a great time talking with my family (who are fortunately understanding about me cutting out alcohol, yay), and I did not at all feel like drinking the rest of the night!
I know I wrote "Not Even A Sip" yesterday, so of course I wonder if I am being hypocritical... But in truth, taking that sip felt like the easiest way for me to let it go and move on, free of the thought for the next two days. I honestly don't feel compelled to try another sip of anything this weekend... Haha, it's possible that I may come to regret that choice, but right now I feel free to relax and enjoy time with my family and NOT drink.
I am still learning and experimenting on The Path, and I am open to course corrections along the way. But right now I'm very happy with how the night went!
Additional Thoughts from Today's Lesson on The Path:
I love the idea of the placebo effect. It's not the drink itself that brings you pleasure, but the anticipation of the drink. So in a weird way, the placebo effect can be leveraged to your advantage if you find a NA drink substitute you like - the preparation of the drink / glass / garnish are part of the fun & anticipation.
It makes sense that drinking is often used to fill an unmet need. In my case, I think the unmet need I have is alone time / relaxation / silence / solitude. Perpetually busy and over-committed, drinking was my signal to relax, stop working and take a break. On this journey I think I am gonna have to learn how to be still and okay with quiet and inactivity, to embrace it, even. To figure out other ways to manage stress and to moderate my schedule and learn how to say no. To let go of the idea that I have to be everything to everyone.
AF Days Since May 23, 2024: 3
My Why: To really, truly learn that I can still have fun without alcohol.
What's One Awesome Thing that Happened Yesterday because I Chose Not to Drink? I enjoyed the company of my Dad's family without the night getting increasingly hazy.
Daily Affirmations:
1) I choose to live Alcohol-Free.
2) I respect and honor myself.
3) I am worthy of love and care.
4) I give myself patience to heal.
5) I have compassion for others.
6) I create beauty all around me.
