Day 55: May 25, 2024
What are My Thoughts Today?
The first two days of being Alcohol Free (again!) went well. I have just been continually reminding myself that a tasty AF beverage is really superior in every way to one with alcohol - no matter how much the conditioning in my head wants to tell me otherwise. I will never regret having an AF beverage, I will always regret having wine! At least right now I would, at this point in my life. I'm not saying drinking has never been fun in the past... But I just have too much data on why alcohol harms me in the present to say anything otherwise.
I am going to be out of town for the next couple days. We are getting together with my dad's side of the family at the old homestead, "The Farm"... I am excited to see everyone but I must say there is usually quite a bit of drinking at these gatherings, so I'm a little bit nervous about it. I'm going to come armed with every AF beverage imaginable and then just keep reminding myself that alcohol is not my friend.
Alcohol is not my friend!
I believe I can do this, I just wish it wasn't so soon after I decided to quit again. My dad is bringing four bottles of his homemade wine to share with everyone (I was there when he made it nine months ago, so obviously this feels like a temptation). I want to say no to trying it because that's exactly how I get myself back into this mess: Surely you can have just a little now and then.
So of course I've been thinking, "Maybe you can just have a sip of the wine to taste it." That sounds reasonable on the surface, right? However: if you could be inside my head right now, you would see just how much mental space pondering that single sip has already taken up... I clearly still have too much baggage around alcohol to see it as small and insignificant. And I really don't want to backslide, even with a sip... I saw where that led me earlier this month. Now I want to break the drinking cycle, for good this time!
AF Days Since May 23, 2024: 2
My Why: To feel as healthy and vibrant as possible, to live free from the heavy cycle of angst that was caused by drinking.
What's One Awesome Thing that Happened Yesterday because I Chose Not to Drink? I felt clear-headed and relaxed all evening, which allowed me to really enjoy the new episode of Doctor Who!
Daily Affirmations:
1) I choose to live Alcohol-Free.
2) I respect and honor myself.
3) I am worthy of love and care.
4) I give myself patience to heal.
5) I have compassion for others.
6) I create beauty all around me.
