Day 54: May 24, 2024
What are My Thoughts Today?
I'm glad that today's lesson on The Path was how to talk with your friends about your choice to stop drinking, and about not being preachy. I love to use the simple excuse that "Alcohol ruins my sleep, so I am not drinking right now," because it is 100% true and a major motivating factor as to why I want to cut it out... But it doesn't get into all the darker psychological aspects of my relationship with alcohol. I don't have to feel pressured to share my struggles, unless I actually want to do so... I don't owe anyone an explanation.
In terms of being preachy, that can be tough! I've had so many light-bulb moments about drinking in the past 50+ days and it's hard not to want to share them with others! But I think that's one reason it's so great to have a supportive group around you (online or in person) when you are making a big life change like this. You need to have somebody to rejoice with and geek out with as you make progress and learn new things, but not everybody in your daily circle is going to want to do that with you. They might be struggling with their own drinking, or maybe they don't have a problem with drinking so it's not something they want to focus on a lot. Either way I can see how it would be annoying to listen to me talk about it so much. I have been trying to keep from going overboard, but I'm sure I have slipped into evangelism mode occasionally... This is something to keep an eye on as I go forward!
Haha, ironically it's a lot like my obsession with Doctor Who! Fortunately my husband and I share the same passion for the show, but in terms of our friends and family we have to cool it, haha. Thankfully, we discovered an annual Doctor Who convention in our state and we absolutely love it... We go every year and it's full-on, non-stop nerding out for three glorious days with people who could never tire of talking about the show. 🤓 I don't need to be that immersed all the time, but once in awhile it is great to discuss my passion with reckless abandon in the company of others. I wonder if there are any alcohol-free conferences or conventions? That might be a fun thing for me to research sometime... I imagine it's sort of like the alcohol-free bar phenomenon (I'd love to see one of those open in my hometown)!
I feel lucky that my husband is supportive of my choice to change my relationship with alcohol, although at this point he's not planning to cut out alcohol himself. For the most part, I am okay with the fact that he is still drinking... I am extremely grateful that he hasn't been going overboard in my presence, at least. He has been keeping it to one or two drinks and hasn't gotten drunk. But I'd be lying if I said it wouldn't be helpful / nice if he was also not drinking. It would eliminate a lot of triggers for me at home. But that's just not reality now, and if I try to force any lifestyle changes on him it will likely have the opposite effect.
I can tell sometimes my husband gets a little overwhelmed by my enthusiasm (or a little eye-rolly), and he's not always keen to hear my factoids on drinking and alcohol abuse. I am trying to minimize my ramblings about The Path around him in general, unless what I'm sharing really does pertain just to me and my own progress (not alcohol in general)... As far as I'm concerned, I should be able to talk with him about things that are on my mind (we are married, after all), but just not in order to convince him to change. I think that is another reason to have a supportive group people behind the scenes, folks who are doing it with you, so that you don't feel so reliant on your spouse for support and encouragement.
AF Days Since May 23, 2024: 1
My Why: To feel as healthy and as vibrant as possible and to live without the regrets caused by alcohol
What's One Awesome Thing that Happened Yesterday because I Chose Not to Drink? My heart-rate stayed normal all night and I felt actually relaxed after dinner.
Daily Affirmations:
1) I choose to live Alcohol-Free.
2) I respect and honor myself.
3) I am worthy of love and care.
4) I give myself patience to heal.
5) I have compassion for others.
6) I create beauty all around me.
