Day 53: May 23, 2024
What are My Thoughts Today?
HELLO AGAIN, DAY 1! š
Today I am restarting the clock on alcohol freedom! Last night I finished reading The Sober Diaries (so, so good!) and started in on a new one called Sober Vibes. I'm not as enamored with the writing style, but the author said something that pushed me back into action, saying "It's never too soon to quit drinking." And that totally resonated.
I had been thinking about waiting until June, but last night we had wine with dinner and once again my heart-rate was elevated so I just wasn't getting sleepy. I was up reading because I was jacked, and I realized there's just no good reason to do that to myself again.
Honestly, alcohol is not my friend. As much as I wish it was, it just isn't. It's a nasty poison that promises happiness but delivers stress, sadness, disease and chaos. I still believe in treating myself, but honestly my little non-alcoholic Guinness has been sitting in the fridge all along like the boy next door, patiently waiting for me to realize how great it is and how much it cares about me. Meanwhile I've been flouncing around with Bad Boy Booze, who may seem cool and say nice things but really doesn't give a crap about my well-being. It's truly like ending a toxic relationship... No wonder people say they broke up with alcohol!
So last night I dumped wine. Literally and figuratively. My husband was getting ready for bed and I opened the last little bottle I had in my Squirrel Drawer (I stash my treats in there like a squirrel hides her nuts) and I dumped it down the drain... I must admit, it felt great!
I know that becoming truly Alcohol Free isn't going to be easy every day, and I know that I will have cravings and be sad sometimes. But I just don't want to be a prisoner to something as unfulfilling and toxic as alcohol... Life is too dang short for that!
P.S. Notes from Today's Lesson on The Path:
"Drugs and alcohol" - why do we separate the two? I've never thought about that before! Alcohol is an addictive drug just like cigarettes, marijuana, cocaine and all the rest. It's not a contest for which one is worse, it's just reality that it is a drug.
In terms of my friendships changing when I go Alcohol Free, I do worry about feeling like I'm missing out... But I'm starting to finally realize that I am not going to be the one missing out on life when I am free from alcohol (one could even make the argument that it's the other way around ā just not out loud, 'cuz that would be annoying)!
I suppose some friends could feel threatened by a change in my drinking habits, but I doubt that will be a common reaction. The idea that alcohol is a harmful substance does not seem quite so taboo anymore... More people seem to understand that if you are struggling with it, it doesn't mean that you're fundamentally broken (even if you do decide to give it up eventually). At least I'm hoping that's the general reaction! We shall see... š§
AF Days Since May 23, 2024: 0
My Why: To live a vibrant, fulfilling life and truly be mindful of and grateful for all the people, places, and experiences this life has to offer.
What's One Awesome Thing that Happened Yesterday because I Chose Not to Drink? I did choose to drink last night, but the aftermath of an elevated heart-rate and a busy mind offered me the burst of clarity I needed to go Alcohol-Free!
Daily Affirmations:
1) I choose to live Alcohol-Free.
2) I respect and honor myself.
3) I am worthy of love and care.
4) I give myself patience to heal.
5) I have compassion for others.
6) I create beauty all around me.
