Day 51: May 21, 2024
What are My Thoughts Today?
Things that always bring me joy: game nights with family, watching movies with my husband, gardening, dancing, cooking a delicious meal (when it's my idea, haha), and going to the beach. In reality none of these events need alcohol to make them fun. In fact, when it comes to playing board games, alcohol actually makes it harder / less fun because my attention span gets shot. Cooking has gotten tied up in drinking, but in that first 30 days I was completely AF, I realized I still like to cook even if I am just drinking a sparkling grapefruit juice. Sometimes I would drink at the beach, but in reality I don't enjoy day drinking because it makes me crabby; I kind of did that out of habit or obligation. I don't think I will miss it.
When it comes to game nights, I've had two AF game nights since April 1st, and both were a blast. So it's true! Alcohol is not what actually makes events fun. It's just so hard to see that when you're caught in the middle of the struggle with alcohol. Again holidays are the one thing I'm still worried about but I'm sure by the time we get there I will have lots more tools in my belt, so to speak. And I don't know why my logical brain has trouble accepting that holidays could be fun AF too, if I already know that other activities I like are just as fun without alcohol. It seems like a holdout that doesn't have a lot of grounding in reality. Gotta analyze that!
On a different note, I have noticed a lot of resistance around the idea of giving up alcohol completely. I just want to have one to three drinks a week, is that so much to ask? Right now it seems feasible, but is it, realistically? I have been struggling with drinking too much for at least a decade. And when I do even just have one I don't feel great afterwards. So why won't this thought leave me alone? And what do I do about it? Some part of me wants to just test out the theory and see if that's the direction I want to head. But I'm sure in about a month I will be drinking a lot more than one to three drinks a week. I mean I can't be 100% sure, but data would show that will happen. I hope to make peace with the idea that moderating is too risky as a long-term solution throughout this next year on The Path.
Total Number of Drinks since April 1st: 7
My Why: To make conscious, healthy choices in life.
What's One Awesome Thing that Happened Yesterday because I Chose Not to Drink? I felt very grateful last night to my little non-alcoholic Guinness. It was like a friend, rather than an enemy. It was tasty & did not cause me any harm.
Daily Affirmations:
1) I enjoy freedom from alcohol.
2) I choose to live mindfully.
3) I respect and honor myself.
4) I am worthy of love and care.
5) I give myself patience to heal.
6) I have compassion for others.
7) I create beauty all around me.
