Day 50: May 20, 2024
What are My Thoughts Today?
I fear missing out on the "special" days the most - like important holidays (to me, Christmas and New Year's) and the one big summer vacation my extended family takes each year. I find the idea of not drinking at those times more distressing than I do staying AF during the average weekend or even random birthday party or BBQ... I wonder why that is? Deep in my mind, I must still venerate alcohol as almost sacred in some way, or else I wouldn't feel it should still be a special "treat" for things like Christmas or milestone wedding anniversaries... Such a weird thing!
I certainly think it's possible still enjoy these "big" days without alcohol. I think what I would have to do is really get a wide view of what alcohol overall can lead to. It's not just a cozy toast on New Year's Eve, it's the needless argument 5 hours later, or waking up feeling awful in the morning. Your brain only chooses to think about the fun parts of drinking and it sneakily omits all the rough patches. Even on holidays, alcohol doesn't come without consequences.
Instead of drinking, I will have to look for other special activities to fill the void. Maybe I can learn to make some kind of extra special tasty beverage that I only drink during the aforementioned holidays, or I can incorporate a new activity that is similarly special. Creating new traditions that keep the cozy and sacred feeling without having alcohol involved. I wanna start thinking about this in advance because I can already tell Christmas and my wedding anniversary (which are close together) as well as our August summer vacation, are going to be particularly triggering for me. I need to find other ways to make these times special. Drinking does not have to be the only special ritual in the world!
Total Number of Drinks since April 1st: 7
My Why: To de-tangle my mind from the lies of alcohol.
What's One Awesome Thing that Happened Yesterday because I Chose Not to Drink? I had a glass and a half of wine (so more than one, GRRR!) with dinner last night. It was good data. Alcohol really does seem to irritate me later in the evening, with a slightly elevated heart rate. Eventually I'll have to acknowledge that it's a built-in part of drinking. When will I be totally ready to let drinking go?
Daily Affirmations:
1) I enjoy freedom from alcohol.
2) I choose to live mindfully.
3) I respect and honor myself.
4) I am worthy of love and care.
5) I give myself patience to heal.
6) I have compassion for others.
7) I create beauty all around me.
