Day 48: May 18, 2024
What are My Thoughts Today?
I wish that I didn't notice any physical effects after drinking just one glass of wine. For so many years I fantasized about being able to have just one glass, and at least right now, armed with all this new information, I really haven't been feeling motivated to have more than one (so far). But still, this doesn't mean the alcohol isn't negatively impacting me. I am thinking that alcohol is not going to have a long-term place in my future, even in moderate quantities... For one thing, it just seems too risky to backslide into the habits I really want to break. And besides that, I really don't like having an elevated heart rate, even just for a few hours!
It seems that just one drink, or attempting to moderate drinking, is just not a good idea. It disrupts your sleep, and over time it still leads to increasing the amount / frequency you have to drink to feel good. So again, alcohol is a drug! Why would I want to mess with a drug if it's not a part of my value system? I don't do other drugs for the same reason I don't want to do alcohol in the long-term.
In "The Sober Diaries", which I am reading right now, the author says that it takes about 100 days to really feel the full, wonderful effects of not drinking, and then it takes about 6 months not to miss it anymore. I know that she's just one person and so everyone is different, but it has helped me to lengthen the timeline in my head.
When we do the 30 days together on The Path (starting around June 11th), I think I'm going to tell myself 6 months. I just don't want to keep vacillating between 30 days on and 30 days off. I think giving myself a longer time alcohol free would help solidify the idea in my mind that I truly want to be alcohol-free in the long run.
Total Number of Drinks since April 1st: 6
My Why: To get to the other side of addiction, to go from FOMO to JOMO!
What's One Awesome Thing that Happened Yesterday because I Chose Not to Drink I drank a glass of red wine yesterday with dessert, and once again my heart rate was elevated for several hours afterwards and I thus think it made me go to bed later than I would have otherwise. It is data, that's for sure...
Daily Affirmations:
1) I enjoy freedom from alcohol.
2) I choose to live mindfully.
3) I respect and honor myself.
4) I am worthy of love and care.
5) I give myself patience to heal.
6) I have compassion for others.
7) I create beauty all around me.
