Day 36: May 6, 2024

What are My Thoughts Today?

I am just loving this liminal thinking stuff - questioning my assumptions and rethinking my subconscious beliefs. I definitely bought into the idea that alcohol would make me happy. Now it's clearer to me (though I still have some unpacking to do about this) that the truth is this: alcohol only makes me feel happy in the short term, and in general takes me farther away from the vision I have of my life. I had been expecting far too much from alcohol, way more than it could ever actually deliver. Even if there is a short burst of pleasure, alcohol has a lot of consequences, none of which lead to a lasting sense of happiness or well-being.

Other activities that would bring me the same sense of contentment are things like mixing up yummy AF cocktails to enjoy in the evening, reading, painting, getting outside and going on a walk, or just calling a friend. I mean there's way more than that, but those are things that I could do regularly whenever I feel the urge to put a Band-Aid on my negative emotions.

I am reading a book now called "Build the Life You Want" by Arthur C. Brooks and its main premise is that our search for happiness is flawed. I'm realizing as I read it that I think he uses liminal thinking as well. He says that we commonly accept these two things to be true about happiness without questioning them:

"1. I can be happy . . .
2. . . . but my circumstances are keeping me stuck in unhappiness."

Much like The Path is doing with alcohol, he is unpacking the untruth of both beliefs so that we can naturally aim for a healthier goal. He says:

"You can’t be happy—though you can be happier... That’s because happiness is not a destination. Happiness is a direction. We won’t find complete happiness on this side of heaven. This might seem like disappointing news, but it isn’t. It’s a relief, actually. It means we all can finally stop looking for something that doesn’t exist, once and for all. We can stop wondering what’s wrong with us because we can’t find total happiness or keep it. But perhaps the best news is this: so matter where each of us is in life, we can all be happier.

And your circumstances don’t have to stop you. You can get happier, even if you have problems. You can even get happier in some cases because you have problems. These two mistaken beliefs, and not what life throws at us, are the real reasons so many people feel stuck. They want a kind of happiness that doesn’t exist, and they think that any progress is impossible until all the barriers in their life are cleared away."

I think this quest for complete happiness / inner peace has driven me to make a lot of rules and set goals that aren't realistic for myself. I feel like if I just work hard enough it will be attainable, but that is simply not true. It's the same with drinking, if I just set up rules around it, I will be able to drink without negative consequences or cognitive dissonance. But maybe this isn't true either! 🤔

Total Number of Drinks since April 1st: 1

My Why: To give myself the best chance of doing a great job at work and home without unnecessary stress.

What's One Awesome Thing that Happened Yesterday because I Chose Not to Drink? I really enjoyed my AF cocktail last night and felt it was even better than the red wine I had the other night! Progress!

Daily Affirmations:
1) I enjoy freedom from alcohol.
2) I choose to live mindfully.
3) I respect and honor myself.
4) I am worthy of love and care.
5) I give myself patience to heal.
6) I have compassion for others.
7) I create beauty all around me.