Day 108: July 17, 2024
What are My Thoughts Today?
Today's lesson on The Path was about awareness. I now realize that I have always associated awareness with guilt and shame. I have been hesitant to face some parts of my journey because I was afraid it would lead to more of these emotions. I have a lot of negative messaging going on in my head already – I worried that if I really take a good look at some of the behaviors that bother me or some of the beliefs I feel are not helping me, that I would end up feeling even more discouraged, shameful and hateful towards myself.
But there is no reason that becoming aware of a negative behavior or belief has to lead to lasting guilt or shame. Rather we can feel the momentary sting of awareness and then move through it to things like curiosity. We can even feel joy, once we realize that we have a choice about how to conduct our lives in the future. Once we become aware of the ways past decisions haven't helped us, we are suddenly empowered to change our behavior.
I am excited about this realization because over the years, I have built up a lot of internal resistance against evaluating my choices and behaviors if I suspect I will not like what I find upon digging a little deeper. But now I can go into these explorations with the mind of a scientist or a compassionate friend, with curiosity and excitement. Onward and upward!
Additional Thoughts:
I am willing to allow the idea that I'll be able to trust myself and my decision-making in the future when it comes to trying moderation or staying Alcohol-Free. I don't have to put pressure on myself to know how I'll respond next year, now. I may be in a completely different head-space after all this coursework and a year on The Path. I can trust my future self to make the right decisions for my soul. ❤️
AF Days Since May 23, 2024: 55
My Why: To have freedom from addictions, to create more space in my life, to honor my body / mind / spirit, to feel vibrant and empowered in my daily life, and to make my corner of the world a better, more peaceful, more loving & more beautiful place.
What's One Awesome Thing that Happened Yesterday because I Chose Not to Drink?
My older brother's kids are in town for the week. I was glad I stayed alert and aware around my teenage niece and nephews, setting another example of having fun being Alcohol-Free.
Daily Affirmations:
1) I choose to live Alcohol-Free.
2) I respect and honor myself.
3) I am worthy of love and care.
4) I give myself patience to heal.
5) I maintain healthy boundaries.
6) I have compassion for others.
7) I create beauty all around me.
